Twist

I tend to do two things here. The first is to start to write a post then get distracted or loose my thread and stop. As such, I have a million threads started but few posts. The second is that I go through old posts and threads not posted to see if I have brought up a thought before.

And this leads me to this post. Instead of finishing up one of my terribly negative threads I have entered into this post with the hope of something a touch more positive. I'm not sure if I've written about it before and honestly, if I have, I could use going back through it again anyway.

I spend/spent a lot of time thinking about what makes me happy, and what seems to make others happy. One of the things I noticed is that we all seem really stuck on this idea of home. Now for most people it is a place they go to at the end of the day. For some it is an idea that hasn't made it into the world yet but someday, someday, they'll build it and decorate it and fill it with stuff. Now don't get me wrong, I love my stuff. And I appreciate a nice house, a well designed room. But I learned over the years that where I live and what I live in is not the primary factor in my happiness.

What is primary is this feeling of home. So I thought a lot about those moments where I feel like I am home. Those moments where if feels like all the pieces have clicked into place and I know I am where I am meant to be. And after years and years I realized that for me, and I would venture for a lot of you, home is not a place. Home is a feeling, and more specifically home is people. Home is the friend from childhood that got your through the darkest hours of life. Home is the sibling you soldiered on through the muck with. Home is the soft space created between lovers that makes you feel safe. I have often wondered what a map would look like if I put a pin in every city that holds a person I call home. I think it would be far more populated that I could guess. I also wonder what it would look like if people that thought of me as home put pins in their home city as well. What if it was yellow for places I see as home, and blue for people that see me as home. Would their be more yellow or blue I wonder? Would I find yellow dots and blue dots next to each other most of the time? How many dots would not be paired? I'm not sure the answer to these questions, but I know that it would be a colorful map indeed.

There are little things that remind me of those people, those moments, of home. I remember home in a song. Some are songs of my generation Blink-182 anyone? Others are unique to my experience, The Bodeans- Still The Night. I sense home in tastes, home-made macaroni and cheese or a can of jam. Some are scents, the sleepy relaxation of jasmine and lotus or the rush of desire of Paloma Picasso. Others are sights, african statues and warm colored walls.

I hold all of those talismans of home close to my heart. I listen to songs, taste foods, seek scents; when home feels too far away or when I am in dire need of a recharge.

I know too many seek home in a building, believe that 4 walls will create that feeling for you. I promise, set that aside and look for the people in your life, past and present, that make you feel like you are home. Then strive to keep those connections. Never let go of one another, create home in your heart. The place your pins in your map and smile.

If you can find but a handful of people you can call home, you will have your own constellation of homes throughout the world. And when you let go of the place, and focus on the people... you realize that home can be anywhere, made of anything.