Rules To Live By

1. Act always from a space of compassion
2. Find a partner to share life with and be a safe haven and support beam for that person
3. Find the amazing friends in my world, cultivate and care for those friendships
4. Learn something every day, teach your passions

That's it. That's what life has narrowed down to for me. And honestly I'd be ecstatic to hit any of them. I've had a lot of conversations with people recently about what I'm like as a person, as a friend, as a partner. It's interesting to get the outside observations. It's especially interesting to hear feedback from people about how I can change from one environment to another.

Act Always From a Space of Compassion
I started on this path listening to things like the Dali Lama's conversations from The Mind and Its Potential Conference and Karen Armstrong's Charter For Compassion talk. Compassion is a pretty hard space to create at all. Compassion isn't just about empathy but action. I can feel empathetic all the time but compassion moves one to action. Sometimes these actions are easy. I see someone at a party alone and I go over and talk to them. I see someone I know crying and offer a hug. Sometimes these actions are hard, I'd give examples but honestly I'm still working on growing in this area. I'm not looking to turn myself into a "save the world" type of person. Honestly, I'm not even trying to make a dent. I want to have people find some small solace in their interactions with me. I have what it takes to become the  next Martin Luther King Jr; but I'm hoping I have what it takes to have a beer with him/her and be a space he/she can recharge in to create a more beautiful world for us all. Don't get me wrong, I can effect minor change. I can call out injustice and bigotry, especially important as part of a privileged group as I can do this relatively safely. I can be a safe haven for people in my life that are out struggling both on their personal journey and journeys which may some day change our world.

Find a Partner to Share Life With and Be a Safe Haven and Support Beam for That Person
I've given up on the whole actively seeking a partner thing. It'll happen or it won't. I'm not expecting to stumble into my fairy tale relationship, but I know what I want and if it comes through my life I'll act to seize that opportunity. Until that time, I need to make me the best person I can be. I've done a lot of that over the years. There's this idea that you shouldn't look to enter into a relationship until you've done half the work you need to do on yourself. I spent a long time where I could say that wasn't the case with me. Frankly, while I've done at least half the work I need to I'm still not a finished product. Likely I'll never be finished, human life is about growth and change. But I've come to realize who I am, good and bad, and have cultivated the best in myself while working on the rough spots. I've come to embrace my personal struggle, to have faith and see the beauty in the resilience of the human spirit. I've come to understand that sometimes protecting yourself is denying the rest of the world seeing beautiful parts of you. I still need work, and I'll keep working on me so that when opportunity on this front comes knocking... I'll be ready.

Find Amazing Friends in My World; Cultivate and Care for Those Friendships
So I'm awesome at the first part of that. I can tell fantastic people really fast. Hell, sometimes I can tell them from across the room. I read people fast and incredibly well. And I've found some really awesome people in my world over the last year or two (not to discount my old friends at all). The thing is I'm a shitty friend. Like not so much the whole being a friend thing. You need help moving, no problem. Shoulder to cry on, done. Support, love, fun, whatever you need; I got you. Problem is I'm shit for keeping in touch. Every friend I have that goes out of their way to call, txt, email, write etc I cannot ever express fully how much that means to me. I'm shitty at keeping in touch so those that do that part of friendship for me get a full throttle version of me. I'm loyal honest and caring. Seriously, I may suck for keeping in touch and doing shit on the regular with (unless you just decide we're partying every Friday or Saturday then I know to just show the fuck up) you but in a pinch when your world is falling down around you, I don't panic and I generally know just what to do. Also, loyalty is primary for me in all relationships so once I count you as a friend... it really doesn't matter if you melt down sometimes or have shitty days. It happens we're human, I really don't care and don't judge. Seriously, if I am up at 2am I'll answer for any friend. If you need me I'm there. I just need to get better at sending txts/emails/calls to see how people are doing. Maybe throw a dinner party monthly to get people close enough together on a regular basis.

Learn Something Everyday, Teach Your Passions
I'm a sucker for falling passionately for some new idea or activity. But long term passions are... well... mercurial moods don't exactly lead to consistent anything. However, I love beer and mixed drinks and share my love of that skill set and tastes as often as I can. I love cooking and food, recent conversations with a friend have reminded me how awesome sharing a new dish or cooking with someone can be. This is what makes me think a dinner party or pot luck would be so awesome. A bunch of people cooking and eating together... seriously this is what connections are built on. Plus, trying a new dish especially something outside your normal cuisine is a way to travel via food. Food is a big part of culture and so seeing what and how others eat, seeing what meal time is for them gives you this very human glimpse into their experience. I've got a great passion for information and learning in general. A passion for taking everything apart and discussing and analyzing the hell out of it. I know it drives a fair numbers of you bat shit "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar". Yeah, well, most of the time it isn't. Frankly, there is value in taking things apart and having dialogue and discussion. I understand that learning to live on and appreciate the surface is something I need to work on. But I also understand I'm happier underneath it all. I'm glad people are out there that are the opposite of me. People that live mostly on the surface. Because frankly 50 ft under is only beautiful if someone is tending to the surface as well. The world needs both kinds of people in it. I really do tend to learn something new every day whether it's from a person, a talk, a movie, an article, or a book. I probably need to spend some time thinking about what teaching my passions looks like and thinking about how well I'm doing on that end of things as well.

Hope my random posts give you all a smile or a thought!